Meeeooooowww
Meeeooooowww
Riding my bike on a sunny morning I see three boys coming towards me. Friends, in the age of 15 or 16 years old. As you know, especially being a woman, you can sense they will comment. Right in the middle of puberty they cannot help themselves. And sure enough, as soon as they pass me, one of them shouts a long ‘Meeeooooowww’ right in my face.
Laugh
I laugh and before I can think about a reply a harsh ‘Wrafff, wrafff’, comes out of my mouth. The guys jump and almost fall from their bikes. This is something they had not expected, at all. I look behind me for a second and see them hanging over their handlebars. Laughing as hard as they can. And 16 year olds laugh hard and loud!
Centering moment
Much later I realized this was a perfect example of a centering moment. When you don’t think and act from joy within. I remember a story my good friend Tommy once shared: His school teacher friend told him that one morning her class had planned to drop their books simultaneously at one point during the lesson. Sure enough, at exactly 10 past 10 all students dropped their books on the floor. There was a loud BANG.
Angry
Instead of getting angry, or getting a heart attack, the teacher turned away from the blackboard, walked to her desk, calmly picked up her books and threw them on the floor. “Sorry, I’m late,’ she says and continues her teaching. I don’t know what subject she taught, but the best lesson was the one she had just shared. Don’t get angry, get even. But always with respect and from a place of center.
Confused
Yesterday I had a chat with friends about the confusion men feel nowadays about what is correct behavior and what is frowned upon as sexist. Of course there are examples that need no explanation. But it seems like we are overdoing it, as we tend to in the Netherlands anyway. I’m all for the ‘me too’ advocates. But as my male friends commented yesterday they feel like they have to ask everything before they can say something. It kind of takes away the spontaneity. ‘Is it OK if I tell you that you look nice?’ Or: ‘Ma’am, may we tell you: Meeeooooowww….’
Topfan
Topfan
Last week I got a message from Facebook that I earned a badge. You’ve probably received this before, as well. From now on I could tell the world I was a ‘topfan’ after I reacted a couple of times to a page I liked. I laughed, ’cause who decides wether I am a topfan and does that make me different somehow? Of course it’s a positive thing and meant to make you happy.
Rewards
I’m all for rewards. The more the better. But I question this badge. Some time ago, some people working in admin at Facebook decided to reward people who took the time and effort to comment more than once on a subject/person on Facebook. ‘Let’s give them a badge,’ they must’ve thought. This way they will feel better about themselves.
Value
Apparently it works, ’cause I see people picked it up. There are lots of topfans around. It’s really fine with me. I won’t judge anyone. I just wonder if there is such a thing as a ‘bottom fan, a not-so-topfan, a less than serious fan’ or any other kind of fan. And who is to decide which sticker I get to have? And does this make me feel any more important than somebody who’s not a topfan, yet?
Past
Maybe it’s still got something to do with my past. I used to be a topfan of Donny Osmond as a young teenager. My room was filled with posters and I cried every time I heard ‘Puppy love’. Of course I was teased in school. But I couldn’t care less. I was fan and I loved this kid. But this was then and now is now. I’m no fan anymore.
Admiration
Now I do admire people, lots of them in fact. There are men and women I gladly get inspired by. I take their examples and try to incorporate their actions in my life. But never before I make them mine first. Never to blindly copy. A badge is nice, it’s like a medal. But I would rather really deserve one by expanding my limits, then to just comment on something someone else did. Unless I take a personal or global chance to make a change.
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