Nasty people
Nasty people
We all know them, those nasty people who seem to be out to get you. Don’t let it bother you, sticks and stones… and all that. But in the meantime you’re sad, angry and confused. Why do some people behave the way they do? Aren’t you the person always wanting to help and be kind to others? Then why do they (re)act as if you are the worst criminal walking the face of the earth?
Personal
We take it personally. All the mean things they say and do, they do just to hurt us. And maybe that is, in fact, the reason they behave this way. Somehow the nasty people get a kick out of making you feel miserable. The more you give them the satisfaction of hurting you, the more powerful they feel. I had to think of this when a new friend told me someone had it in for him on social media. He didn’t even know this person, but apparently she had made it her mission in life to threaten him, leave nasty messages and be an overall pain in the behind.
Sick
He let it happen up to the point that it literally made him sick. He tried to reason with her, try to find out why she behaved the way she did. Of course, the more it bothered him, the more she felt victorious and would step up a notch. He blew up, got very angry, involved the police. Nothing worked. He had to stay in bed, ’cause he was overcome with grief and couldn’t handle this situation anymore.
Ignore
When he would let go and not give her any feedback anymore, the hassle stopped. It was not as much fun anymore to wind someone up who seems to ignore all her bullying. Its a shame some people go that far to get a reaction out of someone. They give off so much negative energy, that when you react in the same way, things explode. The only way to deal with negative energy is by reacting with positive energy. Then it fizzles out and becomes balanced.
Easy
Sounds easy? It’s not. The first reaction we have is a negative one. When I heard of his troubles I got angry. Then I got sad. It reminded me of a supervisor I had so many years ago. He was arrogant and tried to put me down at every opportunity. I gave him lots of opportunities. He hurt me. I was young and I let him ‘bully’ me until I cried. And still he wouldn’t stop. Nowadays he wouldn’t have gotten away with this behavior. But we lived in the ’80s and things were different. He was my boss, I had to listen to him.
Not anymore
I refuse to give him any more of my energy. He is one of my best teachers in life. By his means of dealing with situations, by sarcasm and bullying, he taught me how to face up to those kind of challenges. How come I still dream of him once in awhile, though? Could it be that he still has power over me, after all these years? Yes, probably. I’m still angry and hurt, deep within. Hopefully it will, one day, be all gone and I won’t give him another thought. For now, I’ll practice. And practice some more.
Meeeooooowww
Meeeooooowww
Riding my bike on a sunny morning I see three boys coming towards me. Friends, in the age of 15 or 16 years old. As you know, especially being a woman, you can sense they will comment. Right in the middle of puberty they cannot help themselves. And sure enough, as soon as they pass me, one of them shouts a long ‘Meeeooooowww’ right in my face.
Laugh
I laugh and before I can think about a reply a harsh ‘Wrafff, wrafff’, comes out of my mouth. The guys jump and almost fall from their bikes. This is something they had not expected, at all. I look behind me for a second and see them hanging over their handlebars. Laughing as hard as they can. And 16 year olds laugh hard and loud!
Centering moment
Much later I realized this was a perfect example of a centering moment. When you don’t think and act from joy within. I remember a story my good friend Tommy once shared: His school teacher friend told him that one morning her class had planned to drop their books simultaneously at one point during the lesson. Sure enough, at exactly 10 past 10 all students dropped their books on the floor. There was a loud BANG.
Angry
Instead of getting angry, or getting a heart attack, the teacher turned away from the blackboard, walked to her desk, calmly picked up her books and threw them on the floor. “Sorry, I’m late,’ she says and continues her teaching. I don’t know what subject she taught, but the best lesson was the one she had just shared. Don’t get angry, get even. But always with respect and from a place of center.
Confused
Yesterday I had a chat with friends about the confusion men feel nowadays about what is correct behavior and what is frowned upon as sexist. Of course there are examples that need no explanation. But it seems like we are overdoing it, as we tend to in the Netherlands anyway. I’m all for the ‘me too’ advocates. But as my male friends commented yesterday they feel like they have to ask everything before they can say something. It kind of takes away the spontaneity. ‘Is it OK if I tell you that you look nice?’ Or: ‘Ma’am, may we tell you: Meeeooooowww….’
Share this:
Like this: