We all know them, those nasty people who seem to be out to get you. Don’t let it bother you, sticks and stones… and all that. But in the meantime you’re sad, angry and confused. Why do some people behave the way they do? Aren’t you the person always wanting to help and be kind to others? Then why do they (re)act as if you are the worst criminal walking the face of the earth?
We take it personally. All the mean things they say and do, they do just to hurt us. And maybe that is, in fact, the reason they behave this way. Somehow the nasty people get a kick out of making you feel miserable. The more you give them the satisfaction of hurting you, the more powerful they feel. I had to think of this when a new friend told me someone had it in for him on social media. He didn’t even know this person, but apparently she had made it her mission in life to threaten him, leave nasty messages and be an overall pain in the behind.
He let it happen up to the point that it literally made him sick. He tried to reason with her, try to find out why she behaved the way she did. Of course, the more it bothered him, the more she felt victorious and would step up a notch. He blew up, got very angry, involved the police. Nothing worked. He had to stay in bed, ’cause he was overcome with grief and couldn’t handle this situation anymore.
When he would let go and not give her any feedback anymore, the hassle stopped. It was not as much fun anymore to wind someone up who seems to ignore all her bullying. Its a shame some people go that far to get a reaction out of someone. They give off so much negative energy, that when you react in the same way, things explode. The only way to deal with negative energy is by reacting with positive energy. Then it fizzles out and becomes balanced.
Sounds easy? It’s not. The first reaction we have is a negative one. When I heard of his troubles I got angry. Then I got sad. It reminded me of a supervisor I had so many years ago. He was arrogant and tried to put me down at every opportunity. I gave him lots of opportunities. He hurt me. I was young and I let him ‘bully’ me until I cried. And still he wouldn’t stop. Nowadays he wouldn’t have gotten away with this behavior. But we lived in the ’80s and things were different. He was my boss, I had to listen to him.
I refuse to give him any more of my energy. He is one of my best teachers in life. By his means of dealing with situations, by sarcasm and bullying, he taught me how to face up to those kind of challenges. How come I still dream of him once in awhile, though? Could it be that he still has power over me, after all these years? Yes, probably. I’m still angry and hurt, deep within. Hopefully it will, one day, be all gone and I won’t give him another thought. For now, I’ll practice. And practice some more.