• Recent Posts

  • Recente reacties

  • Wat heb je gemist?

  • Thema’s

  • Sophia Magazine: voor jou!

    Ben je 40-, 50-, 60-, 70-, 80-, 90- of 100-plus? Dan is Sophia Magazine hét online magazine voor jou.

    Wil je een avondje met vriendinnen op stap? Wie of wat houd je tegen? Check de agenda dansen. Ben je meer een festivalgangster? Dan is de agenda festivals voor jou the place to be. De agenda vakanties is niet zo maar een overzicht met reizen. Dit zijn single reizen voor hogeropgeleide 40-plussers.

    Verder vind je op Sophia Magazine artikelen over onderwerpen die jou interesseren: werk, geld, liefde, relaties, schoonheid, mode, gezondheid, reizen, wonen en uitgaan. Het zijn artikelen geschreven voor en door powervrouwen.

    Ben je ook een specialist in één van deze thema's? Word dan schrijver bij Sophia Magazine! Op de pagina Vacatures vind je meer informatie hierover.

  • Follow

positive

Nasty people
2 May 2023

Nasty people

We all know them, those nasty people who seem to be out to get you. Don’t let it bother you, sticks and stones… and all that. But in the meantime you’re sad, angry and confused. Why do some people behave the way they do? Aren’t you the person always wanting to help and be kind to others? Then why do they (re)act as if you are the worst criminal walking the face of the earth?

Personal

We take it personally. All the mean things they say and do, they do just to hurt us. And maybe that is, in fact, the reason they behave this way. Somehow the nasty people get a kick out of making you feel miserable. The more you give them the satisfaction of hurting you, the more powerful they feel. I had to think of this when a new friend told me someone had it in for him on social media. He didn’t even know this person, but apparently she had made it her mission in life to threaten him, leave nasty messages and be an overall pain in the behind.

Sick

He let it happen up to the point that it literally made him sick. He tried to reason with her, try to find out why she behaved the way she did. Of course, the more it bothered him, the more she felt victorious and would step up a notch. He blew up, got very angry, involved the police. Nothing worked. He had to stay in bed, ’cause he was overcome with grief and couldn’t handle this situation anymore.

Ignore

When he would let go and not give her any feedback anymore, the hassle stopped. It was not as much fun anymore to wind someone up who seems to ignore all her bullying. Its a shame some people go that far to get a reaction out of someone. They give off so much negative energy, that when you react in the same way, things explode. The only way to deal with negative energy is by reacting with positive energy. Then it fizzles out and becomes balanced.

Easy

Sounds easy? It’s not. The first reaction we have is a negative one. When I heard of his troubles I got angry. Then I got sad. It reminded me of a supervisor I had so many years ago. He was arrogant and tried to put me down at every opportunity. I gave him lots of opportunities. He hurt me. I was young and I let him ‘bully’ me until I cried. And still he wouldn’t stop. Nowadays he wouldn’t have gotten away with this behavior. But we lived in the ’80s and things were different. He was my boss, I had to listen to him.

Not anymore

I refuse to give him any more of my energy. He is one of my best teachers in life. By his means of dealing with situations, by sarcasm and bullying, he taught me how to face up to those kind of challenges. How come I still dream of him once in awhile, though? Could it be that he still has power over me, after all these years? Yes, probably. I’m still angry and hurt, deep within. Hopefully it will, one day, be all gone and I won’t give him another thought. For now, I’ll practice. And practice some more.

 

Read More
No Comment

Gezondheid

The state of our planet
11 October 2022

The state of our planet

What is the state of our planet right now? I think we all know it’s not in the best of shape. According to scientists and journalists our home is dying, fast. So what do we do? We look for another planet, preferably close by, that will house us humans, until we screw that one up as well.

Negative

‘Now Ellen, this doesn’t sound like you at all!’ You’re right. I’m usually the most positive person I know. Let me introduce myself to the people who don’t know me. I’m Ellen, 61 years old. I live in the Netherlands but see myself as a world citizen. I’ve been a travel agent most of my life. This gave me the opportunity to travel, meet wonderful people and their cultures and made me realize that we’re all basically the same.

Survival

We all want to survive and hopefully in a happy and satisfactory way. I chose to write. I’ve found my passion. And I’m sure my grammar and spelling won’t always be perfect. I’ve worried about it, but decided to let it go. I’m sure many of you will overlook my mistakes.

Travel

During one of my travels I met an amazing American man, Tom Crum. He’s been my mentor, teacher and close friend for years. I’ve learned so much from him. One of the things he taught me and that I will never ever forget is ‘the state of our planet game’.

Resources

A bunch of volunteers wanted to play. A map of Earth was spread out on the floor and we were split into five groups, each group representing a continent. We were each given some money and tokens representing resources like oil and gas. Right away the unfair differences between us became painfully obvious. The Africa group stood kind of embarrassed with next to nothing in hand.

Rules

The rules were easy: Just like in real life, each group (continent)  had to gain as much money and as many resources in order to win the game. Now Tom had made up another rule: We only had ten minutes to work with. The earth is dying, remember? So time is of essence.

Volunteers

Now, we were all peaceful people. And I dare say we were not stupid. Though spectators might not have agreed by the way we handled things. Because, just as in real life, we started to shout and convince other continents to almost give their money and resources away. If not voluntarily, there would be sanctions or we would even go to war!

Civil war

To this day I still cannot believe there was even a continent where a civil war broke out. The ‘population’ disagreed with trading agreements and decided to go on in two groups. Tom put the pressure on by shouting that we had to hurry up, people!! He even seemed to get a bit angry. And NOBODY wants to make Tom angry:-)

Nervous

So, just like in real life, we got nervous. Everybody wanted to win. We wanted the power, the recognition, the love (yes, love) of all those around us. In the very last minute someone ‘got’ it. Every continent put its money and all its resources in the middle of the map. It was then equally divided into five continents.

Winner

Instead of one winner, there were five. We each had the same amount of money, the same amount of resources. And you know what? There was more than enough for everybody. It was so very simple. And yes, it is THAT simple. The power of this game was to realize we all still believe in the misconception of winning by force. More is better, no matter how we get more. And we all fell for it. Why? Because we get caught up in our routine.

Meeting

I met up with Tom a few weeks ago. We talked about the game. And how powerful it was to actually see where the problems are and how easily we could all solve them. Almost too easy. And that’s where we continue to make mistakes. We all rely way too much on what we know and what we always used to do. Although we know so well that it never worked and never will, if we don’t change this routine.

Change

But change is hard. Change is scary. It takes courage. And that’s why we need games like this. To show us how easy and painless it actually is. How it will never hurt anyone, nor embarrass anyone to let everybody (every country) win. The game was played in front and with, world leaders in the ’80s. They seemed to get it then. But they al too soon turned around and go on in the same ways they always have.

2022

We played the game then. Maybe it’s time to try again in 2022. Have we evolved enough to see that we’re now in the last minute of our game? Tom and I fantasized about trying to set it up again. ‘We will have to add climate change‘, Tom rightfully offers. Will it make a lasting impact this time around?

Imagine

I don’t know. For now all I know is that I want to share this story with as many people possible. Maybe you can already imagine the rules of the game. Maybe you, also, will feel the need to share. You see, it really works. Let’s all, each and everyone of us, be winners. Let’s play the game! Are you in?

Subscribe

To subscribe to Sophia Magazine is completely free. No hidden ‘anything’. If you want to keep up with our stories please let me know at: ellensommer@casema.nl and I will add you to our list. Please invite your friends and family to join as well.

Thank you!

 

 

Read More
No Comment

leven