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writing

Who is by your side
28 February 2023

Who is by your side

My sister sent me a card that says: ‘It’s not where you are going, but who is by your side’. Now I always do care about where I am going, really, but I agree that a trip is much more worthwhile when you have a best friend (my sister) by your side. I’ve taken trips by myself, which was fine, also, but the best memories are made when I’m traveling with someone.

Alone

I love being by myself. Alone, but never lonesome. When traveling I can make plans to do and see the things I find interesting, which don’t necessarily interest my travel companion. On the other hand, nothing beats sharing experiences while traveling with someone you care about. It all depends on what kind of trip you make.

Aspen, Colorado

When I go ‘home’ to the place I lived for so many years, I like to be by myself. I’m not going on vacation, I’m going home. I’ll meet up with friends and do the things I always enjoyed so much while living there. As, when I want to write, I’d like to be alone. For one, I’m not good company when all I want to do is write.

Trips

There are a few trips planned already. This week I will visit Newcastle, UK, with a good friend and a few weeks later I will enjoy the beach in my favorite Dutch town, Egmond aan Zee. The rest of my travels in spring will have to be through reading and writing.  It’s a funny thing about reading a book that you can travel places without spending any money.

The journey is the reward

To use another one of my favorite quotes: The journey is the reward. Now I know you don’t have to take this literally, to get to your goal is half (if not all) the fun. But for me, even in a literal sense I can enjoy my journey. There’s times I will take the train to the other side of the country. Yes, The Netherlands are very small, it takes about three hours form one side to the other.

Train

I love train rides. I sit near a window and gaze out over the meadows and all the water. In the meantime I scribble stuff in my notebook. Which I usually throw out at the end of my trip. But sometimes something sticks. The clickety clang, the smells, the whispers of the other travelers, it all adds up to the experience of traveling.

Itch

And when the itch gets too much, I take the train to Schiphol, our international airport in Amsterdam. I grab a coffee and sit somewhere to enjoy the hustle and bustle. The frantic, nervous passengers, the worker-bees cleaning, the beep-beep of the luggage carts, it’s all music to my ears. And I dream of far away places when a flight to Dubai is called. Next time I will be on that plane. Or maybe I will visit Capetown. And I’ve never been to Stockholm. Next time…

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Health
25 October 2022

Health

After years of consuming we wake up to the truth: Too much is not good for you. Keep that in mind, ’cause I’m not telling you you shouldn’t indulge. I’m not telling you what to do, and when, in any way. That’s not good for your health.

Explanation

Let me explain. We all get caught up in ‘musts, shoulds, do’s, and don’ts’. In the meantime we’re totally stressed out trying to do the best we should be. Forgetting all about what our best is… We run after every new diet, exercise, pill, self-help book we can find. As long as some fit looking guru tells us we must change our lifestyle we chase after the dream.

No longer

I refuse to let my life being lived by someone telling me how. A few years back I had a burn out just for trying to live my life perfectly. You know what? I can’t. I can’t be perfect all the time, the rest of my days. Furthermore, I really, really, don’t want to. For the first time in my life I sat down and wrote a list of all the things I loved. Every time I wandered off to something I ‘should love, because someone tells me it’s for my own health and good’, I wrote it on the ‘hate’ list.

Short

My love list was a lot shorter and much more difficult. I was brainwashed into believing what others told me I should love. In order to have time for fun, I was supposed to do many things at the same time. I was supposed to make as much money in a short time, so I could retire earlier and have fun. A bowl of pasta was an absolute poisonous treat ’cause it was filled with carbs and it would ensure an early death. I had to exercise strenuously in order to get the perfect body.

Perfect body

When I was 40 years old I decided I had to join a gym. Or I would die. The lady doing my intake, was a 20 year old with ‘the perfect body’. She took one look at me and said I had to change my whole lifestyle. And even then she wasn’t sure if I could live for another 10 years. My body had had years of abuse (bowls of pasta) and I was in my menopause and I had to WORK HARD to get my health back.

Believe

I believed every word she said. I felt the ugliest, most lazy and most unhealthy person on earth. WHY? Because some teenage girl told me so? Then what’s the point of even starting this exercise regime? I left the gym after one day of work. Hard work. And fell into that same spiral of feeling useless. I read another five self-help books on discipline.

Change

Then one day I looked at my ‘love’ list. Without any distraction of ‘others in my head’ knowing so much better, I wrote my list again. I love to eat. And I love to be out in the woods. Writing is my passion. Having a glass of wine with friends is a joy I cherish. Shopping makes me happy. So does reading.

Follow up

Before I knew I had a long list of things I wanted to do for the rest of my life. If only.. But I had enough of my daydreaming and wishing. I was going to spend the rest of my life doing the things I love. Easy? No, not always. But it wasn’t that hard either, ’cause I did exactly what I wanted to do, not what somebody else told me I should do.

One step at a time

I like to walk in the woods. So I did. One step at a time. I didn’t have a smartwatch telling me how many steps I took, how many calories I burnt. Who cares? I was outside walking. Ten minutes the first time I was out. Fifteen minutes the next day, one step at a time. I love pasta, but I also love veggies and shrimp. So I combined the two. I made my living writing. No, I don’t have a lot of money. But I have enough to get by. How to shop with no money, though?

Money

That was not easy. But I save my pennies and I eat a little less meat. That way I can have a ‘me-day’ once a month. I go shopping. I find treasures at second hand (book) stores. Reading? No more self-help books for me. I read Scandinavian thrillers. The more dead bodies the better 🙂 And I have a glass of wine with friends m very weekend. And you know, sometimes even on a regular Mondaynight.

Health

In my mind I can hear all the health gurus turn away from me. ‘She can never be saved again.’ Now I know there are some people out there who have the best intentions. Who are really trying to help us. I haven’t found many. Most of them promise us heaven while raking in the dough. I’ve found my own heaven.

Heaven

I’ve never been happier. I learnt to manage stress by writing. In two years I lost over 30 lbs. I feel strong, happy and healthy. The one thing that really worked for me was to let go of all the shoulds. To change my life all I had to do was to go back to myself, listen to MY truth. And not take everything and everybody so darn seriously.

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